2023 NCU Fantasy Football Season Preview: Carl Gerbschmidt Division
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By: Troy Balego
The Carl Gerbschmidt division is aptly named as it is filled with backwoods hillbillies who are all obsessed with their respective teams. The AL Central of NCU Fantasy Football gave us one of the all-time worst teams to qualify for a playoff spot last year with its division champion DJ’s Figment’s Fart (v clever name). DJ’s 8-6 record was due to a ton of luck and scheduling as they outscored the 4-10 JoAd playing in a superior division by less than one point! Even OceanGate has had a better year than Carl Gerbschmidt (too soon? or Google it).They will look to have greater success going into 2023, although it’s not possible to be less successful, right? Oh wait they added Chris Rausch to this division so anything is possible!
Troy: Fighting Minnow
Caleb: Fighting Minnow
Matt: Fighting Minnow
Jamaal: Fighting Minnow
Last three division champs: Figment's Fart (Dillon, 2022), Falcon Punch (Dillon, 2021), Urine Trouble (Jon Hurm, 2020)
*Note: Teams will be listed in order of Preseason Rank, not necessarily the order in which the writer believes they will finish.
#3 Fighting Minnow
Last season: (7-7) | 2023 Keepers - Justin Fields, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Nick Chubb, Austin Ekeler
Having narrowly missed a division crown last year, Matt Hurm spent the offseason executing a number of moves that essentially put his team in the same position as if he had just stood pat. Nick Chubb and Austin Ekeler are The Minnow’s 2 biggest acquisitions since last season and give him formidable options at the least important position in football. Both players finished the season as top 5 RBs but they are both entering their age 28 seasons each coming off 300+ touches. Not exactly long term foundational pieces. Speaking of long term pieces, Hurm does have the decade plus keeper Amon-Ra St.Brown leading a deep but not exciting group of WRs. Drake London was a good upside pick in the 1st round but he also made one of the worst picks of the draft selecting quite possibly the worst player in the NFL in Jahan Dotson’s back-up Terry McLaurin. Dallas Goedert is a solid option at TE and will need to be for the price tag Hurm paid. Justin Fields’ awful play was masked by some epic rushing performances that made him a much better fantasy option than real life QB. I’d expect him to be a better passer this year but I can’t see him repeating the same rushing numbers this year. A better overall year is possible but not by much. I’d expect a little better luck for Hurm and a slightly better record giving him a chance at a division title and playoff berth. If not we can expect him to continue his further descent into insanity we’ve all been witnessing these past few months. P.S. look for Amon-Ra to appear on the trade block the first game he scores single digit points.
#7 Garbage
Last season: (7-7) | 2023 Keepers - Justin Herbert, Ja’Marr Chase, Isaiah Pacheco, D’Andre Swift
Another middling team from the Carl Gerbscmidt division, Finney chose to stay quiet during the off-season choosing to keep 2 of the best, young keepers in the league in Herbert and Chase coupled with 2 RBs who will be part of committees. Even though he chose not to upgrade his RB keepers Finney did a nice job in the draft, balancing solid veteran options (Aaron Jones, Michael Pittman, Courtland Sutton) with high upside younger players (Rachaad White, Skyy Moore, De’Von Achane) to round out his roster. Kirk Cousins would be the perfect player for this roster as they, like Kirk, seem destined for middle of the pack purgatory.
#12 The Algorithm
Last season: N/A | 2023 Keepers - Trevor Lawrence, JK Dobbins, DJ Moore, TJ Hockenson
Even though it’s been proven to be a successful strategy, Chris decided against relying on his predecessors keepers and instead decided to blow his roster up, keeping only Trevor Lawrence and DJ Moore (trading JK Dobbins just before the draft). Chris is seemingly choosing to go full rebuild having selected 6 rookies in the draft including 3 in the first 9 picks of the 1st round. These rookies may help Chris compete in the future but this season, Gibbs, Addison and Smth-Njiba are all stuck in timeshares behind or with veterans. This three plus Lawrence could give Chris a solid core going forward. It will be interesting to see if Chris can dedicate himself to any type of coherent, long term approach that would see him move Diontae Johnson, TJ and Lockett in an attempt to go all in for the future. If not he may find himself stuck in the middle like the rest of this division.
#13 Figment's Fart
Last season: (8-6) | 2023 Keepers - Christian Watson, Garrett Wilson, Dameon Pierce, Jonathan Taylor
DJ was dealt a blow right after the keeper deadline as Jonathan Taylor was placed on the PUP and will miss at least the first 4 games of the season. He was dealt another blow when Lance turned back the clock and got him to agree to another old school family discount trade giving up a high upside starting RB (who he just acquired days before) Dameon Pierce for the Jets backup RB Dalvin Cook. He also had arguably the worst draft selecting Aaron Rodgers round 1 and a number of injury prone vets bypassing his usual strategy of going for high upside rookies. It’s like he did all of his draft research from a 2018 Fantasy Football magazine. I suspect DJ used up all of his luck in 2022 and that this year will balance things out. I expect DJ to be pretty shocked at his team’s record the next time he logs into the site sometime in November.
Tuesday: IALTO Division (written by Jamaal Gilbert)
Wednesday: Supershow Division (written by Caleb Bartholomew) Later today: Duckies & Bunnies Division (written by Matt Hurm)
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